Farming chalk

I was offered a position, namely that of chief chalk farmer. Chalk supplies in London are very low at the moment, due to a lack of natural predators, apparently. (I was confused at this point). I accepted immediately.

Interestingly it was at a small to medium sized chalk farm in the Chalk Farm area. I had always wanted to farm chalk at a chalk farm in Chalk Farm. But I was very concerned that should anyone ask me what I did for a living it would sound slightly ridiculous and partly insane, like a bagpipe in the cat. When I am using my mouth part I prefer to sound mostly sane, where possible. At least 60% of the possibles.

So I killed myself and set fire to the body fourteen times, to make sure no one found the evidence.

I didn't apologise to the recruiterment consulterant because I was nearly dead so I will probably remain in limbo for eternity like Brexits.