vague whelk

The autobiographies!

Part one of my autobiography is arrived. This is right here for your sloppy face to gently put itself on top of.

read all of the autobiographies >>


BuzzFeeds Headline Generator!

As As those of you who aren't yet fully insane in the face will probably know, I was a Buzzfeeds Employee Of The Month in the December 2013, and those of you who know things generally even better will also know that I entered folklore at the Buzzfeeds HQ after it was discovered I had written a simple program to do my job for me and I had not in actual fact done any writing for at least 14 years - without being discovered. As you can imagine this was controversial news because at the Buzzfeeds they prize originality and creative writing more than anything else, they really do. Just like all the readers do. :~ Now that the super-mega-injuctions have expired I am gratuitously exposing here a simple version of the program to Get Excited By. You Probably Don't Ned To Read The Buzzfeeds Anymore. Unless of course you value their original and creative writings and the fact that they never ever copy and paste things from the internet like a bunch of dripping noughts.

Buzzfeed headline generator >>


Yoghurt snatches!

The The threatened release of my semi-autobiographical epic, The yoghurty but still interesting existence of the Be Nna Kol: The woeful tale of a heightist community living inside some yoghurt is impending and inexorable and threatening and evil and big, like a thunderstorm in Piers Morgan's knicker sacks riding on a train. It will soon be on the Amazons unlike the Morgan's knicker sacks. Here you can read some extracts from the volume that were stripped like a foot in a piraƱa tank.

Yoghurt Sample generator >>

I was insane to ever ever ever try to use Jade templates.

Other Junks

blamtak seek nein. Gomperk nunthelk dibokaan. I wish that I could speak alien. I would do it all the time and feel great.