Space sloths say "Just remember that it's never too late to turn your life around. It might sometimes be difficult, for instance if you are a natural bus driver, or a receptionist in a doctors surgery, or maybe your legs are the wrong way round. But most of the time you can still change! Sometimes, of course, it is too late, if you didn't do it soon enough, or if you suddenly died, or just got set in your ways. Then it's definitely too late." Of course to you and me that might sound like bollocks, but who are we to question an anormous space sloth?
Say hello to The Space Sloths house, where you can fully wet your grief-bucket in readiness for your unavoidable and terrifying and disorientating clamouring descent into utter utter cold horryfing terrible awful eternal Oblivion.
For cute sloths.
Isn't it nice that we are all accidentally here with all of the grass and the wind and the sea and the sausages and the stars and feet and the milky way and everything that had to be here for us to be here, is all right here at the moment because some entropy forgot to be there briefly, sometimes I think that is wonderful. Of course what a wisdomous space sloth might think is that it is utterly ridiculous and could never possibly have happened and it just a massive greate big fib.
Just because others do, that doesn't always mean it is OK for us to not understand why and be more confused.
Relax on your journey towards the void
can nothingness exist if something has existed? Or will everything always be everything? Either way, parsnips.
Don't worry. In 150 years no one will remember you
Today's Truth Missile of Truth missiling away truthfully, cutting through the kidney spectrum towards your pointless grief-well is this: Always try your best. Or don't. It doesn't really matter, because in a relatively short amount of time you will be totally dead, no one will remember you, and nothing you ever did will have had any observable impact on the universe at all.
Space Sloth says Nothing Happens For a Reason
Nothing happens! Absurd? No, you massive shrill scream! Absurd never happens either. According to our Lord Space Sloth, reality is merely a useful construct which serves to bolster your own self credibility.
Never stop being yourself says our lovely Space Sloth
Today's truthMissile from our spacey Space Sloth is targeting your silent space and it's a corker! Just lie down and remember that you cannot be yourself because yourself does not exist, you are everything and everything is you. So you cannot not be yourself either. ~~ Accept your place in the cosmos and lie down ~
Homogeneous and small
Today's missile of truth sent fluttering towards your despair-cave like a butterfly of sense, is a simple one. To be at one with the cosmos, you must understand that you are a tiny meaningless insignificant part of it, invisible to to the rest of it, and that if you didn't exist (which you can't be sure you actually do) nothing would be any different at all! Happy Thursday! :)
Heed the Space Sloth: Just lie down because your utter nihility is and always won't be.
This may or may not sound a bit like some insanity to those of you uninitiated in the ways of the Sloth, and quite possibly, it is. Alas there is no way to tell, and there never will be. So let's all lie down and try to forget about it all. Just remember, although you don't fully exist, neither does Bruno Mars, let that provide some comfort.
Space Sloth doubts the importance of your continued existence
If the Universe is infinite, then it is infinitely ridic, and so is everything in it.Which means nothing makes sense. Including you. Which explains a lot if you ask me. So go back to bed and try not to think about how shambolically incompetent you are at existence.
If you like Very Excellent advice, then that's great for you, and me too! DON'T THINK ABOUT YOUR POSITION IN THE ABYSS! (Well, no more than 3, if possible). This advice has got me through many Very Bad times, including a medium to severe calippo addiction and a recent dentist appointment.
An apathetic universe is indifferent to your struggles, quoth the Space Sloth. And let's think about that - surelemement he hath a point here. One must resolve oneself to one's cosmic insignificance in order to be at peace. You are a crisp packet blowing in the wind, in a carp park that is blowing in the wind, in another car park that is blowing in the wind, in another-....etc
Today's TruthMissile from the Space Sloth is Here!
And Space Sloth spaketh to the insolent man again: "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star" And the man, for whom philosophy was a passion endured, did curse his enigmatic Creator and did throw a hissy fit of apostasy. He turned his back on his the One True Spacey Obliqueness, before casting himself off the mountain to his death, and hiding the body.