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14 Outrageous Lies About How Cheese-Obsessed Boring Travelling Student Kissed Your Uncle On The Knee. If you call me crazy one more time I swear to Beethoven's Sandwhich that I will burn you to the ground like the human tinderbox that you are, Mum! Ron tried to look at colin with as calm a face as was possible, given the current emotional turmoil that was turmoiling in his head area, and also given the fact that he was a ham sandwich and therefore did not have an actual head or face part at all.