A Lovely Story About How Horrendous Professionally Garrullous Simpleton Piers Morgan Told The Barber To Shave His Own Nipples Thank You Very Much. When you worry about quantum fields, or why does Piers Morgan happen, just remember, the Universe is so trouser-wettingly inexorably large that everything probably happens at some point, no matter how pointless, upsetting, or how much of a garrulous squinting simpleton they are Oh, the bacto-geeza who accidentally disemboweled himself while trimming his eyelash? <br><br>