vague whelk

The mind blops from Vague Whelk's thought bucket are here - some of them anyway.

Fidgety Free

'It is incumbent upon all hirsute lifeforms to ensure that no combs go unregarded.' Or so goes the new controversial opinion of egg-bound indoctrinator Touple Ester.
Presenting at the National Innovators of Comb industry awards last week, Touple leapt to the stage, shunning all traditional stage mounting techniques, especially the more modest ones, and cried into the microphone 'COMBS!'. She then smiled at the audience for four or five minutes, or thereabout, I don't know for sure, I was asleep. She then repeated herself, and duly did the audience applaud. They applaused ridiculously hard for a comb awards event. After several minutes of applausing which was surely loud and enthusiastic enough to conceal the noise of an elephant falling into a bathtub full of cats, she did spake these now immortal words.
'It is incumbent upon all hirsute lifeforms to ensure that no combs go unregarded.'
This time she delivered the words in a more dramatic and thoughful fashion. In that moment she looked like Olivier, or Cage.
Literally nobody in the room knew of what she spake, her words were as custard in our ears, but it was ok because it felt so right at the time, so real, that I, and all the other brushkin applauded our hands literally right off.

I don't even need hands anymore, I have shamed myself, my house, and my follicles.

Anyway if someone can please send word to my loved ones that I'm ready to come home it would be much appreciated. It's water treatment again tomorrow and I am almost broken. I'm not sure how much longer I can stay in this place.