2000 Things You Definitely Didn't Know About How Love-Rat and Bottom Scraping Noisy Breather Learnt To Hate You. Presenting at the National Innovators of Combs Industry Awards last week, Touple leapt to the stage, shunning all traditional stage mounting techniques, especially the more recent ones, and screeched into the microphone 'COMBS!!!', somehow pronouncing each exclamation mark louder than the last. Ron would have been squinting at this point and putting his hand accross his eyebrows, in that way that always helps you see things that are small or far away, but being in an extremely ham-sandwhichy sort of mood he failed to do this and settled instead for an inquisitive yet crusty lean. You Would Totally Die If You Found Out How Enraged Failed Psychological Lab Experiment Kanye West Declared Himself Fit For Office But No One Knew Which Office They applaused ridiculously hard for a comb awards event. After several minutes of applausing or applaudment or whatever, applauds which were surely loud and enthusiastic enough to conceal the noise of an elephant falling into a bathtub full of cats. Nobody really knows why they have a persistent feeling of terror, because in order to know that we need to know why we aren't dead right now, and nobody really knows that. Unless they are just keeping quiet about it. <br><br>