Nobody Knows Why But Flat Earth Believing Bum Doctor Tried to Destroy Feminism Whilst On The Toilet. I HAVE AN URGENT MEDICAL NEED FOR CURRY WHY WILL NO ONE LISTEN TO ME? That baby was me (but a much, much younger version of me, barely recognisable from my current version). We Just Love How Selfish Baby-Booming Professionally Garrullous Simpleton Piers Morgan Apparently Did Not Die. 'Erm. Yes. Quite.' Bi Hag shifted uncomfortably like an embarrassed gearbox. So I killed myself and set fire to the body fourteen times, to make sure no one found the evidence.